Secrets in a Diary
The sunlight was warm that day, golden light filtering through the plane tree leaves, casting mottled shadows on the ground.
My adoptive parents, Grayson Collins and Luna Lee, stood at the door, their smiles filled with a gentleness I had never seen in the orphanage.
Luna Lee stepped forward and took my hand, her palm soft and carrying the scent of soap: "Nola, this will be your home from now on. We will love you as if you were our own daughter."
The days in the orphanage were cramped and cold; no one ever treated me with the tenderness Luna Lee showed.
In that moment, I thought I had finally found the happiness I longed for. From then on, I did everything I could to please them, desperate to hold on to that warmth.
Every morning before dawn, I would get up to scrub the living room floor, not missing a single speck of dust in the corners.
As soon as the school bell rang, I'd rush home to help Luna Lee pick vegetables and wash dishes. Even if I was just handing her a plate, I did it with sincere care.
On weekends, I would tidy Grayson Collins's study—organizing his books and documents neatly and wiping the desk until it was spotless.
Whenever they praised me for being sensible, it felt like I had a sweet candy in my heart, and all my efforts felt completely worthwhile.
But those warm days didn't last long.
One evening, a year later, after school, I came home to see Grayson Collins clutching a medical report, his face full of excitement, while Luna Lee cradled her belly, her eyes shining with joy.
Grayson Collins ruffled my hair gently: "Nola, you're going to be a big sister. Mom's having a baby."
A strange unease gripped me, like something was about to be taken away, but I still forced a smile and said, "Congratulations, Mom and Dad."
From that day on, the atmosphere at home changed.
Luna Lee's belly grew bigger each day, and all of Grayson Collins's attention was on her.
They used to always remember my birthday, preparing a cake and new clothes beforehand, and taking me to the park on the day.
But that year, on my birthday, I waited from after school until dark—there was no sign of anything from home.
I sneaked a glance inside; Luna Lee was sitting comfortably on the sofa watching TV, and Grayson Collins was peeling an apple beside her. They were chatting and laughing—no one mentioned my birthday.
I hid in the small room, tears soaking my clothes, but I told myself they were just too busy, not purposely forgetting.
Ten months later, Luna Lee gave birth to a girl. Grayson Collins named her Sophia Collins and cherished this biological daughter like a treasure.
On the day Sophia was born, many relatives came to the house and gathered around the crib, praising how adorable she was.
I stood outside the crowd, watching the lively scene, feeling hollow inside, as if I had been emptied out.
From then on, I became the "invisible person" in the family.
Every day when I opened my eyes, my life was consumed by demands about Sophia: "Nola Collins, make milk for Sophia," "Nola Collins, find out why Sophia is crying," "Nola Collins, wash Sophia's dirty clothes."
I was like a spinning top, running from morning till night, without a single moment to myself.
Once, while making milk for Sophia, my hand slipped and I dropped the bottle — glass shards and milk powder spilled all over the floor.
Grayson Collins rushed out of the study, his face growing dark. "How could you be so careless? Sophia's still waiting for her milk!"
I crouched to gather the shards and said I'd make a new bottle, but he cut me off, "You're all clumsy—don't hurt Sophia!"
He dragged me into the cramped, pitch-black attic, cluttered with junk, slammed the door, and locked it from outside.
In the darkness, I hugged my knees, trembling on the cold floor.
From downstairs came Sophia's laughter and Luna Lee's coaxing, piercing my heart like needles.
I stayed in the attic all night, and it wasn't until the next morning that Grayson Collins finally let me out.
My throat was dry and sore, my knees bruised purple, and I walked with a limp.
Luna Lee gave me a cold glance. "Be more careful next time. Don't cause trouble."
I kept my head down, biting my lip, tears welling up but held back from falling.
When Sophia Collins was three, Grayson Collins and Luna Lee took her to the mall. When they came back, Sophia was holding a pink singing doll, a special gift just for her.
Sophia Collins ran up to me, showing off, turning the doll's volume all the way up: "Mom and Dad gave this to me; you don't have one!"
Jealousy wound around my heart like a vine, squeezing so tight I couldn't breathe.
That afternoon, with no one home, I slipped into Sophia's room. She was fast asleep, the doll quietly singing beside her.
I grabbed the doll, tore its dress, snapped its arm, and staring at the broken toy, a sharp thrill of revenge surged through me.
When Sophia woke up and saw the doll, she burst into tears and ran to Luna Lee to tattle.
Luna Lee stormed at me in fury, grabbing my arm and slapping my back, "Nola Collins, how can you be so cruel!"
The slaps were heavy and harsh. I gritted my teeth and didn't cry, but seeing Sophia Collins standing there with a look of schadenfreude, my heart completely sank.
From then on, Sophia hated me even more, constantly fabricating stories about me bullying her in front of Grayson Collins and Luna Lee.
Once, while I was doing homework in my room, she suddenly burst in, tore up my notebook, then ran crying to our parents to tattle on me.
Without asking any questions, Luna Lee stormed into the room and fiercely scolded me.
These things kept happening over and over, and I gradually realized that no matter what I did in this family, it was always wrong.
After Sophia Collins started elementary school, she wore a long ponytail every day. Every morning, Luna Lee would patiently braid it and pin a pretty little flower hairclip in it.
I was terribly jealous and wanted Mom to braid my hair once too, but my hair grew slowly, and Luna Lee never paid any attention.
One night, when I couldn't sleep, jealousy surged up inside me again.
I quietly took out a pair of scissors and tiptoed into Sophia Collins' room. She was fast asleep, her ponytail splayed across the pillow.
I hesitated for a long time, but in the end, I cut off a small lock of her hair, then hid the scissors and ran back to my room.
The next morning, Sophia saw her shortened hair in the mirror and stomped her feet, crying.
Luna rushed over, her face immediately darkening.
Sophia pointed at me. "You cut my hair!"
I stiffened my neck and said, "It wasn't me," but Grayson went straight into my room and pulled the scissors out from under the pillow. "The evidence is right here, and you still dare to deny it!"
He pinned me down on the sofa, picked up a wooden feather duster, and struck my legs. "For bullying your sister! For being disobedient!"
The feather duster struck my leg with a sharp, piercing pain. I couldn't hold back anymore, and tears welled up and fell.
Sophia Collins stood nearby, a smug smile curling on her lips.
From that day on, only bitter hostility remained between Sophia Collins and me, like two hedgehogs bristling with quills, hurting each other whenever we got close.
This home that once filled me with hope had completely turned into a cold prison.
In the blink of an eye, I had reached the age to take the college entrance exam.
The day I walked out of the exam hall, the sunlight was blinding, but inside, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief—the college entrance exam was my best chance to leave this home and break free from the pain.
When filling out the volunteer form, I didn't hesitate to pick a university thousands of miles away, wanting to completely escape this hurtful place and start fresh in a strange city.
I hid the volunteer form at the very bottom of my books, but Sophia still found it.
That afternoon after school, I came home and saw Sophia sitting on the couch, my volunteer form in her hand, a cruel smile playing on her lips. "You're running so far away—is that because you don't want to come back anymore?"
I rushed forward to take it back, but Sophia ran over to Grayson Collins and Luna Lee and tore the volunteer form into shreds right in front of them.
"I'm not letting you leave! If you go, who's going to run errands and do the housework for me?" Sophia Collins shouted, her face full of defiance.
I was trembling with rage, raising my hand to hit her, but Grayson Collins grabbed my wrist and pulled me away. "Nola Collins, you have caused enough trouble. Sophia is your sister—how can you hit her?"
"She tore up my volunteer form first! She's the one who's wrong!" I retorted, my eyes red and full of hurt.
But Luna Lee stood by Sophia's side. "Sophia just can't bear to see you go. Filling out a new volunteer form is easy—there's no need to lose your temper."
Seeing them favor Sophia Collins, the last spark of hope inside me died, and I quietly turned and slipped back into my room.
That night, I refilled the volunteer form and tucked it safely into my backpack.
The night before I left home, I quietly packed my bags. Just as I placed the last piece of clothing into my suitcase, Sophia suddenly burst into the room, her eyes red as if she'd been crying: "Are you really going to leave?"
My voice turned icy: "Yes, I never want to see you again, and I don't want to stay in this house any longer."
Sophia suddenly lunged at me, grabbing my clothes: "I won't let you go! You can't leave!"
I pushed her away; she fell to the ground and burst into loud sobs.
Grayson Collins and Luna Lee heard the crying and rushed over. Grayson accused me, "Nola Collins, you're leaving soon—can't you go a little easier on your sister?"
Luna Lee scolded me from the side as well.
I didn't explain or even look at them; I silently zipped up my suitcase.
Early the next morning, before dawn, I dragged my suitcase and quietly opened the door. Without looking back or saying goodbye, I walked step by step out of this home I'd lived in with so much pain for years.
After passing through the gate, I couldn't help but glance back at the building, feeling only a deep sense of relief in my heart.
I hailed a taxi to the train station, sitting inside and watching the neighborhood fade away, telling myself, "Goodbye, the Collins Family; goodbye, Sophia Collins; goodbye, my past. From now on, I will live for myself."
During my four years at university, I rarely went home. Apart from the occasional request for living expenses, I barely kept in touch with the Collins Family.
At university, I studied hard and joined activities, only wanting to become independent as quickly as possible and completely break free from them.
After graduating, I stayed to work in the city where I studied, rented a small apartment, thinking I would never return to that place of sorrow, never see Sophia Collins again.
But fate was not as kind as one would hope.
Six years later, I suddenly fell gravely ill.
At first, I just felt tired all over and lost my appetite. I thought it was from being overworked, so I didn't pay much attention—just rested occasionally and took some cold medicine.
But the illness kept getting worse. I began vomiting frequently, my weight dropped rapidly, and I grew weaker and weaker.
I couldn't take it anymore and went to the hospital for tests. The doctor, holding the diagnostic report, told me I had stomach cancer, and it was already at an advanced stage.
I was only twenty-six then—the prime of my life—and yet I had to face such a devastating reality.
Clutching the diagnostic report, I wept for a long time in the cold hospital corridor.
I didn't know what to do, nor whom to tell.
I had no friends, no family to lean on; loneliness and despair crashed over me like a rising tide.
Just when I was at my lowest, Grayson Collins called me out of the blue — the first time in years he reached out on his own.
I thought he was calling out of concern for my health, but he just said Sophia Collins' birthday was next month and wanted me to come back for the birthday party.
A chill ran through me, but I hesitated anyway — part of me didn't want to return to that sorrow, yet a faint hope flickered, yearning for a shred of family care.
In the end, I agreed to go back.
On Sophia Collins' birthday, I dragged my frail body onto a train and traveled for hours back to the Collins Family.
The moment I stepped inside, I saw the house decked out with colorful balloons and streamers, alive with festive cheer.
Sophia wore a beautiful white dress, her makeup flawless, surrounded by relatives like a proud princess.
When she saw me, her smile disappeared instantly, and she looked me up and down with a sneer: "Oh, Nola Collins, look who's back. I thought you'd never set foot in this house again."
Standing beside Sophia Collins was her boyfriend, Mike Young, who also looked me up and down with disdain.
Because of my illness, my face was pale, and I was dressed plainly; standing next to the radiant Sophia Collins, I stuck out like a sore thumb.
I took a deep breath, swallowing my hurt. "I came back to attend your birthday party."
"But I didn't invite you. You're just shamelessly showing up, aren't you?" Sophia's words stabbed my heart like a sharp knife, and the relatives around us laughed. Those laughs pricked me like needles.
Just then, Sophia suddenly screamed, "My diamond necklace is missing! The one Mike gave me!"
Everyone stopped joking and started helping look, but no one found it.
Sophia suddenly pointed at me: "It has to be her who stole it! She just walked in, and my necklace was gone. If not her, then who!"
All eyes turned to me, filled with suspicion, accusation, and disdain.
I hurriedly explained, "I didn't steal your necklace! I'd only just arrived and never came near you. How could I have stolen it?"
But Sophia was relentless: "There are so many people here, and you're the only one who looks suspicious!"
Mike joined in: "Just search her, and you'll find out."
With that, he grabbed my arm hard. I winced in pain and tried to pull away, but he held on even tighter.
Sophia Collins was jeering from the side, trying to have me taken to the neighborhood security office for a body search.
Helplessly, I looked at Grayson Collins and Luna Lee, hoping they'd say something for me, but they only exchanged complicated glances, neither moving nor speaking.
My heart sank little by little, utterly overwhelmed by despair.
In the end, Mike Young and several relatives forcibly dragged me to the security office.
The security guards searched through my bag and clothes but found nothing.
"I've told you, I didn't steal the necklace." I said weakly, exhaustion weighing on my voice.
But Mike Young stubbornly shot back, "Maybe you hid it somewhere else, they just haven't found it yet."
Sophia glared at me fiercely, full of resentment.
Stepping out of the security room, the sunlight was blinding, yet I felt ice-cold all over, as if I'd fallen into a freezer.
The neighbors whispered softly nearby; their murmurs felt like knives stabbing into my heart.
I knew that even if I proved my innocence, they'd never truly believe me—in their eyes, I would forever be that badly behaved, bad girl.
After the birthday party ended, Grayson Collins and Luna Lee took me home.
As soon as we came in, Grayson Collins asked sternly, "Nola, be honest—did you steal Sophia's necklace? If you did, just bring it out quickly; if you admit it, we might still forgive you."
I leaned weakly against the wall, my body growing feebler by the moment, barely able to stand.
I looked at Grayson Collins, my voice hoarse: "I told you I didn't steal it. Why won't you believe me? After all these years, am I really that untrustworthy in your eyes?"
Luna Lee sighed, full of disappointment: "Nola Collins, we know it's tough out there for you, but no matter how hard it is, you can't steal.""If you're short on money, you could have told us. We would have helped you. How could you do something so shameful?"
I looked at them and suddenly felt it was laughable.
All these years, I've struggled out there, never asking them for a penny, and now they suspect me of stealing.
My body's getting worse by the day. Every day, I secretly take medicine to ease the pain from stomach cancer, but I don't dare tell them about my condition—I'm afraid they'll despise me even more, afraid I'll become a burden.
One night, after dinner, I went back to my room to take my medicine. Just as I pulled out the medicine bottle, Sophia Collins suddenly barged in and snatched it away. "What medicine are you taking?" she demanded.
My heart raced, and I scrambled to grab it back. "It's none of your business. Give me back the medicine bottle!"
But Sophia stepped back, dodging my hand.
She looked down at the label on the medicine bottle, her expression instantly shifting, and she shouted in disbelief, "Do you have some kind of dirty disease? Is that why you haven't come home all these years—because you're afraid of infecting us?"
"No! Don't talk nonsense! This is just ordinary cold medicine!" I said, nearly in tears, desperately defending myself.
But Sophia wouldn't listen. She grabbed the medicine bottle and ran out of the room, shouting, "Mom, Dad, Nola is taking strange medicine. She must have caught the dirty disease!"
Grayson Collins and Luna Lee rushed over when they heard the shouting. Seeing the medicine bottle and then my pale face, their expressions darkened.
Grayson Collins frowned deeply and asked seriously, "Nola, what exactly is wrong with you? Be honest with us!"
I looked into their suspicious eyes, and my heart shattered completely.
I knew that even if I told them the truth, they wouldn't care about me—they'd just see me as a burden.
I quietly sat back on the bed, no longer explaining, allowing their accusations to wash over me.
"Nola, why didn't you tell us when you got sick? Are you scared we'll spend money treating you?"
"If you really have the dirty disease, then move out quickly. Don't infect us or Sophia!"
"Why did we end up raising such a troublesome child like you... If we'd known back then, we never would have adopted you!"
Their words felt like countless needles piercing my heart.
I lay in bed, slowly closing my eyes, tears silently soaking into my pillowcase.
I truly regret agreeing to come back. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have suffered these grievances, nor would they have blamed me like this.
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