Love Fades in the Rain
So I tried to get a taxi, but in this rain, they were impossible to find. Another hour crawled by before a driver finally accepted my ride. While I waited, I felt strangely calm. It wasn't until I was scrolling through Moments and saw a post from Vivienne's junior, Ryan, that I actually felt a sense of relief, if you can believe it.
The photo showed Vivienne and Ryan enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner. The caption read: [I said I was bored because of the rain, and you rushed right over to keep me company!]Before, this kind of news would've crushed me, made me furious. But now? Nothing. I even absentmindedly liked it. I guess it's finally time to let this go.
There was a time I thought I was head-over-heels for Vivienne. Before this business trip, I'd already made up my mind: if she didn't see me off, I'd end things when I got back. But when she actually used work at the Company as an excuse not to come, I caved. I gave her one last chance, thinking if she picked me up on my return, we'd keep going. She promised she would, and I was so happy. I spent the whole trip daydreaming about our future.
But that very night of the business trip, I saw a post on Vivienne's best friend's Moments. It was a photo of them all having fun at a KTV. Ryan was sitting right between Vivienne and her friend, laughing and chatting away. Vivienne was sweetly helping Ryan ward off drinks, and he was gazing at her with such affection. I felt a pang in my heart. I'd had this feeling before that her friends thought Ryan and Vivienne were a better fit. When I complained to Vivienne about it, she accused me of being paranoid and even told me to try and get on their good side. The more I talked, the more impatient she got, telling me to figure out how to change their minds myself. I just had to swallow my disappointment in silence.
I remember at a party, her best friend mentioned how careful Vivienne was when she introduced Ryan, not letting anyone even tease us. Someone even joked that they thought Ryan was her boyfriend. Seeing that, I knew in my heart that questioning her would be pointless, so I just stayed quiet.
Over the next few days, I didn't message Vivienne as much as I used to. Our last conversation was before my business trip, when I asked if sweet and sour pork ribs for dinner sounded good. All she replied was a simple [ok]. I feel kind of pathetic. The passion I once had has slowly died with each disappointment.
On the high-speed train back, I was still agonizing over how to bring up the breakup if Vivienne actually bothered to pick me up. After waiting ages at the high-speed train station, only to get a message telling me to get home myself, I actually felt a sense of relief. The moment I saw Ryan's WeChat moments, I knew it was time to draw a line under this relationship.
By the time I got to the entrance of the complex, the rain had eased off into a light drizzle. Ride-shares aren't allowed inside, and I didn't feel like using an umbrella, so I just dragged my suitcase and made a dash for the elevator in the rain.
I'd just stepped into the elevator when I saw Vivienne heading down. She was frowning, her voice a little accusatory. "Why are you so late? Were you deliberately dragging your feet because I didn't pick you up?" I replied calmly, "Getting a cab in this rain was a nightmare. I waited a full hour before anyone accepted the ride." Vivienne's face tightened a little at that.
Just then, a father and son got into the elevator. As we ascended, the father said to his son, "You should find a girlfriend, too. Otherwise, who's going to look after you when you get home late? And you claim you can live independently!" The son scoffed, "What's so hard about that? And so what if you have a girlfriend? She's probably out with someone else, using work as an excuse not to pick me up!" They were just talking, but Vivienne's expression turned sour. I couldn't help but laugh, a laugh tinged with disappointment in her and self-deprecating mockery of my own feelings.
The father and son got off when their floor arrived. The father even smiled and nodded at me, teasing his son as they walked away. As the elevator doors closed, Vivienne pursed her lips and said softly, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was raining so hard at the high-speed train station. It's barely raining here, so ..." I replied quietly, "It doesn't matter. Whether you realized it or not doesn't change the fact that I was left waiting. If you'd messaged earlier, maybe I could have figured something else out." Vivienne listened, falling silent.
Back home, I dropped my suitcase and grabbed a towel to dry my hair, then started rummaging for a change of clothes, pointedly avoiding Vivienne's gaze. Vivienne seemed a little flustered, saying softly, "I really had an emergency at work today, I couldn't get out of it ..." I just mumbled, "Okay." She stared at me. "Are you mad?" she asked. I shook my head. "Nope." Clothes in hand, I headed straight for the bathroom.
She grabbed my arm, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Then why are you being so distant?" I said, trying to sound calm, "I waited at the high-speed train station for five hours, got completely soaked in the rain. All I want now is a shower and some rest." A flicker of guilt crossed her eyes. She started to say something, then stopped. I gently pulled my hand away. "Just let me shower first, okay?" "I'm so—" She started, but I cut her off, raising my voice slightly. "I know you're busy. I'm really not angry, just ... let me shower, alright?" Her eyes went cold in an instant. I didn't say anything, just turned and went into the bathroom. Then, I heard the door slam with a "bang." Looks like she's mad again. But right now, I just can't bring myself to coax her or make excuses for her anymore.
Vivienne started giving me the cold shoulder. Actually, it wasn't even much of a cold war for us, because even when I didn't reach out, she rarely contacted me first. So, I pulled myself together and threw myself into work.
Then one day, I was scrolling through my WeChat moments and saw photos of her and Ryan together in Iceland, watching the Aurora. They looked so happy in every picture. It suddenly hit me that I hadn't seen her in days. I remember once saying I wanted to see the Aurora, and Vivienne promised me, so earnestly, that she'd go with me once things at the company settled down. But now, she's sharing that romantic getaway I always dreamed of with someone else.
Time changes everything, doesn't it? Vivienne, who once had eyes only for me, clearly doesn't have room for me in her heart anymore. And me, who used to hang on her every word and gesture, can now face her happiness with another man with a strange sort of calm. Maybe it's for the best. With her gone, moving will be easier. I've been in this place for years; I've got so much stuff, packing will be a nightmare. I need to get my own place cleaned up too, before I can move back.
The day after I moved back home, I got a message from Vivienne: [Dinner at Moonlit Breeze Bistro tonight? I'll pick you up after work.] I replied, [Let's break up. I won't be going.] Then I switched off my phone screen.
Wouldn't you know it, I saw Vivienne downstairs at the Company when I got off work. She came over, reaching for my bag, and said, "Joyce and the others are getting together for dinner tonight. They haven't seen you in ages and were hoping you could join us." I frowned. Just then, a message came through from a colleague, and I realized the breakup text I'd sent this morning hadn't gone through because of the lousy network. Oh well, might as well treat it as a last supper.
I opened the passenger door and saw a note stuck to the back of the seat. It read, "Ryan's Seat". It reminds me of the time I jokingly suggested putting a note on the back of the chair. Vivienne scolded me for being childish, reminding me the car wasn't mine and I shouldn't act so entitled. Seeing that note again, the old embarrassment and hurt resurfaced, but I honestly don't care anymore. It's just that in this moment, it hits me even harder: you can really tell at a glance whether someone loves you or not.
Vivienne saw me staring at the note and tore it off, explaining, "Ryan just put it there as a joke, it didn't mean anything." I just mumbled "hmm" and got in the car.
When I got to the private room at the restaurant, I saw Ryan was there too, along with Vivienne's girlfriends. Vivienne quickly explained, "Ryan's all alone in the city, gets pretty lonely, so I invited him." I just mumbled "hmm" and found a seat. I was used to this sort of thing by now.
I quietly ate my food while Ryan was having a blast chatting with Vivienne's friends. Vivienne glanced at me a few times at first, but she soon got caught up in the conversation Ryan and her friends were having, and joined right in.
Suddenly, Ryan grinned at Vivienne and said, "Hey, Vivienne, peel this shrimp for me, would ya? Thanks!" Vivienne chuckled, "That corny joke's gonna cost you!" And with that, she rolled up her sleeves, ready to get to work. Ryan even stuck his tongue out at me, like he was trying to rub it in: "Hey bro Leo, no offense, but Vivienne and I are always like this, we're used to it." I picked up a piece of chicken and said, trying to sound casual, "No worries, I don't mind."
Ryan then nudged Vivienne: "Vivienne, you should peel some for bro Leo too, or he'll get jealous." I wondered, what made him think I was about to get angry? Vivienne glanced my way, then said to Ryan, "I only have two hands, let me take care of you first." Then, turning to me, she added, "Ryan's still young, you should cut him some slack. If you want some, I'll peel them for you when we get home." A wave of bitterness washed over me. I used to peel shrimp and crab for her all the time, because she loved playing piano and always said she needed to protect her hands, that they couldn't be doing rough work. So, it wasn't that she *couldn't* do it, she just didn't *want* to do it for me.
But Ryan wouldn't let it go: "But the shrimp here is really delicious, Vivienne, you should still..." I cut him off: "No thanks, I ate way too much seafood with clients on the business trip. I don't even want to look at it right now." Vivienne looked a little surprised: "Didn't you say you'd rather not eat something like this if you had to peel it yourself? Don't tell me..." Her expression shifted slightly. "Someone peeled it for you?" I nodded. "The client was really enthusiastic; I couldn't exactly say no." Vivienne's hand froze in mid-air. "Man or woman? How old is she?" "A woman, probably in her early twenties. Why do you ask?" Ryan feigned hesitation. "I don't know, having someone who *isn't* your girlfriend peel shrimp for you seems a bit off..." I brushed it off. "It's just peeling a shrimp, don't make such a big deal out of it. Your senior wouldn't mind, would she, Vivienne?" Vivienne just tossed the shrimp onto the plate, saying coldly, "Leo, if you've got a problem, just spit it out. No need to be so enigmatic."
The atmosphere in the private room instantly turned icy; everyone was feeling the awkwardness. Someone tried to smooth things over, saying, "Looks like someone's jealous! Ryan, why don't you peel one for Leo too?" I forced a smile, wiped my mouth, grabbed my bag, and stood up. "No thanks, I'm done. You guys enjoy." Vivienne shot to her feet. "Are you finished causing a scene?!" She took a deep breath, her voice softening a little. "I know you're still upset, but just sit down. Let's finish eating, go home, and talk this through, okay?" The others chimed in, trying to talk me down.
"Yeah, Leo, just sit down. Let's talk this through calmly." "Ryan's just a junior from her school. It's normal for Vivienne to look out for him." But even though they said that, I could see a hint of impatience in their eyes. Vivienne stressed, "Listen to me, Leo. Ryan will explain everything to you tonight." I asked, surprised, "Explain what? You're actually bringing him home?" She nodded. "Ryan's been having some trouble lately. His place isn't very safe. I was thinking he could stay with us for a while until he finds a new place. Since you're here, having two guys in the house will at least keep the gossips quiet. Just sit down for now, and I'll drive you both home later." I said quietly, "No, thanks. I don't think we're headed in the same direction."
Vivienne's chest rose and fell, and she couldn't help but sneer, "Do you have to start a fight with me here? Fine, not going the same way? Then go back yourself, and don't bother going back to the apartment either!" Her girlfriends saw her getting angry and fell silent, though the gloating on their faces was pretty obvious. I nodded. "Funny you should say that, because I was just about to tell you I've already moved out and won't be going back." Vivienne kicked over a chair, glaring at me. "Moved out? When did this happen?" "It was just a few days ago. You got back from Iceland yesterday, didn't you even go home?" I'm betting she was probably off with Ryan. Otherwise, she couldn't have missed all the stuff that's gone from the house. When I mentioned Iceland, I saw a flicker of panic in her eyes, then she got all defensive: "You moved out just because of that?" "Of course not. I moved out because I've decided we're breaking up. Actually, even before you asked me to dinner, I'd already typed out a message saying we were done, but it never sent. Now that we've had our breakup dinner, let me officially tell you that we're over."
Ryan couldn't hide the happiness on his face, though no one else seemed to notice. Vivienne's friends finally realized I was serious and exchanged uneasy glances. My phone buzzed with a message from the driver. I looked at Vivienne's trembling lips and tear-filled eyes, gave her a wave, and said Goodbye. As I closed the door to the private room, I heard the sound of things breaking inside.
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