After I Walked Away from His Heart, He Finally Understands What He Lost! novel
As my asthma attack took hold, Lucian Hayes remained at the ballroom's center, entwined with his secretary, laughing softly against her cheek.?
Even as I struggled for breath, slipping toward the edge of consciousness, he didnt falter, lost in their whispered exchanges.
On the drive home, I stumbled upon a diamond ring in the glove compartment.?
Before I could utter a word, Lucian snatched it from my hand, his expression darkening.
Its not meant for you, he muttered coldly.
I nodded and pointed toward a bridal shop just ahead.?
Pull over, I said calmly.?
It felt like the right time to return the custom-made wedding dress.?
As I stepped inside, Lucian followed me out of the car, tossing a womans jacket in my face.?
Savannah, you really need to break this habit of leaving things behind, he snapped.
Lucian had an obsession with cleanliness and never allowed any of my belongings to linger in his car.?
I glanced at the jacket lying on the ground and replied coolly, Thats not mine.?
His expression softened, and he picked it up without hesitation.?
I recognized it as Ophelia Hawke's jacket. Every time she left something behind, it seemed to ignite yet another one of our endless, heated arguments.
This time, I held my tongue and simply turned to the shop assistant to give her my phone number.?
With an enthusiastic grin, she exclaimed, What great timing! Your custom wedding dress and suit are ready for fitting.
Before I could protest, Lucian, still fuming, had already entered the dressing room, his demeanor cold.
Ten minutes later, I stood in front of him, clad in a wedding dress.?
He shot me a glance, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.?
Tacky.
I didnt argue; instead, I asked the shop assistant to snap a picture for me.?
Lucians expression shifted to one of impatience, and just as he was about to wrap his arm around me for a couple's shot, his phone rang.
It was the ringtone he had assigned to Ophelia.?
With tears in her voice, she lamented the loss of her favorite jacket, promising that if a kind soul returned it, she would pledge her unwavering loyalty to them until death.
Once the call ended, Lucian walked off without a glance back, still in his clothes from earlier.?
As the sound of his car faded into the night, I grabbed a pair of scissors and viciously shredded the wedding dress without a second thought.?
At one-thirty in the morning, while I was packing up my belongings, a text from Lucian buzzed in: [Out drinking.]
After eight years together, it was uncommon for him to voluntarily share his whereabouts with me.?
As I glanced at the cleaning gloves on my hands, I chose not to respond. Once I finished tidying up, I took a long, hot shower and slipped into bed.?
The next day, when Lucian returned home, I was on my way out to take the trash. His gaze felt peculiar as he studied me.
Is your phone broken? He asked, furrowing his brow instinctively when I shook my head. I knew what he was getting at.?
In the past, whenever he stayed out late, I would bombard him with calls and texts.?
But last night, his phone had been eerily silent. Just as I was about to step outside, Lucian inquired, Savannah, where did our photo on the wall go?
I looked at the garbage bag, poised to reveal the truth, when his phone buzzed.?
Pushing past me, he hit the voice message button, saying, Dont worry, kiddo; Ill get it to you as soon as its ready, as he walked inside.?
The sound of the shower running reached my ears as I made my way downstairs to dispose of the trash.?
On my return upstairs, I felt a sudden wave of weakness. I had hypoglycemia.
Cold sweat trickled down my back as I returned home and grabbed the egg and toast from the table.?
Just as I took my first bite, Lucian's scornful voice echoed in the room. Savannah, were you born starving??
I watched in disbelief as he tossed the half-eaten toast and plate into the trash.?
Ive cooked for you for eight years. Cant I have just one bite of the breakfast you made because I was having a low-blood-sugar episode? I asked, my voice flat.?
His expression hardened as he retorted, You lack manners. Taking without asking is stealing.?
He donned his suit and slammed the door behind him.?
Struck by Lucian's fresh wave of cold cruelty, I instinctively picked up my phone and opened his WhatsApp.
I caught sight of his new background photo, featuring Ophelia in cat ears, pouting playfully. I liked it with a flick of my thumb and unpinned his chat from the top of my list.
Around noon at work, I headed to view an apartment when I stepped into the elevator and unexpectedly encountered Lucian and Ophelia.?
Her hair was tousled, and Lucian helped her gather it neatly.
The moment Ophelia spotted me, she placed her hands on her hips, pouting dramatically. Savannah, youre just in time! Look at Lucian! He keeps tugging at my hair like a little kid. Its so infuriating!
Before I could interject, Lucian playfully pinched Ophelias nose. He teased, Little liar, keep spinning your tales, and that nose of yours will stretch like Pinocchios.
Ophelias cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and finally, Lucian turned to me as if struck by inspiration. Savannah, what a delightful coincidence; lets have lunch together.
Over the five years wed worked in the same building at different companies, Lucian had never once asked me to join him for lunch.
Meanwhile, Ophelia couldnt resist flaunting every meal they shared on social media.
Remembering this, I smiled and replied, You two go ahead. Ive got things to take care of.
Lucians surprise was evident, his expression darkening just as the elevator lurched and the lights flickered out.
Turning on my phones flashlight, I caught sight of him comforting Ophelia, his voice soft and reassuring.
It wasnt long before the elevator jolted back to life, and as we reached the ground floor, Lucian offered to give me a ride.
However, before I could respond, Ophelia suddenly collapsed.
Without a moments hesitation, Lucian brushed past me, scooped Ophelia onto his back, and hurried her to the hospital.
Picking up my cracked phone, I signaled for a cab and continued to my apartment viewing.
Later that evening, Lucian personally dropped off a dessert at my desk.
Thirty minutes earlier, I had come across Ophelia's new post: [Loving someone resembles caring for flowers; one could never finish this, never!]
The post featured a lavish spread of French desserts. I thanked Lucian but left the dessert box sealed.
He looked perplexed.
Savannah, why the sudden politeness? he asked, but I didnt reply directly.
Instead, I said, If theres nothing else, I need to print some documents.
When I returned with my resignation letter in hand, Lucian had already vanished, leaving behind a sticky note that urged me to come upstairs to see him once I was finished.
I tossed the sticky note and the dessert into the trash before heading to my bosss office to submit my resignation.
My boss attempted to change my mind, but once he recognized my resolve, he accepted my resignation letter.?
Following the standard procedure, I would be free to leave after completing this weeks tasks.
At ten that evening, while mingling with colleagues at a gathering, Lucian called.
A male coworker accidentally answered, and when I took the call, Lucian's voice was cold. Savannah, where are you at this hour?
I simply replied, Out.
Send me your location. Im coming to get you, he commanded before abruptly hanging up.
After sending him my location, I waited until the store closed, but he never showed up.?
Checking Ophelias social media, I found a post about her feeling ill and attached to an IV, which didnt surprise me.
I took a cab home alone, took a shower, and went to bed.
Around three in the morning, Lucian returned, dusty and exhausted, shaking me awake.
He said coldly, Savannah, Im hungry. Make me some tacos.?
He had never been fond of tacos, but I knew who he wanted them for.
I attempted to withdraw my hand, but I felt the scar etched into the back of his hand.?
If it hadnt been for Lucian that day the school auditorium caught fire, I would probably be dead.?
A life spared for a simple bowl of tacos seemed a fair exchange.
As I slipped into my coat, ready to step out, Lucian's hand caught my arm, a rare uncertainty clouding his voice.
Maybe maybe this can wait till morning? he ventured, his words trailing off, almost pleading.
I gently cut him off, my voice calm but insistent, Besides tacos, is there anything else shes craving?
For a brief moment, he stood in silence, then released my arm, his gaze softening. No, thats it.
At the break of dawn, he appeared at my door, holding a thermos filled with food.?
Savannah, Ill be going abroad next week. I plan to take some time this Saturday to have dinner with your parents and talk about our wedding?
Before he could complete his thought, I interjected, Thats not necessary.?
Lucian's expression shifted to one of surprise. What do you mean?
Theyre on a trip and wont be back anytime soon," I lied with a smile.
He looked at me, his eyes searching for an answer, but just then, his phone rang, and he quickly shut the door.
On Friday, my last day at work, I had just stepped out of the building when Lucian abruptly yanked me into his car wordlessly.
At a fancy restaurant, he was slicing my steak as he asked, Which wine would you prefer?
Absently scrolling through my phone, I replied, You can choose.
My lack of enthusiasm made his face cloud over just a bit.?
Who are you chatting with? he pressed.
No one, I said.
Even with my reply, he snatched my phone, flipping through it for a moment before turning to me with an unreadable expression. When did you change your wallpaper?
After all these years together, my wallpaper had always featured a photo of us. Still, now it displayed a picture of my parents little dog.
Worn out by the conversation, I stood up to head to the restroom.
When I returned, Lucian had vanished.
Without warning, the lights dimmed, and a server rolled a cart laden with flowers and a cake toward the next table.
Just then, my phone lit up with a birthday message from the network provider.
As I exited the restaurant, I heard a familiar, sweet voice: Ah! Lucian, youre so strong! Push me higher
Seated on a swing outside, Ophelia squealed joyfully as Lucian pushed her.
Caught up in her excitement, she lost her balance and fell right into his arms.
They gazed into each others eyes, unaware of anyone else around, until they finally caught sight of me.
Lucians gaze lingered on me, a flicker of disappointment casting shadows across his otherwise unreadable expression.
Savannah, this swing is a blast! Come join us
Ophelias cheeks bloomed a delicate pink as she shyly withdrew her hand from Lucians shoulder.
Savannah, she interjected quickly, her voice a mix of urgency and uncertainty, please dont get the wrong idea. Lucian was just keeping me from taking a tumble
With a playful ruffle of her hair, Lucian cast a warm glance at Ophelia, melting the cold tension that hung in the air.?
Silly girl, he said with a soft chuckle, theres no need to explain. The only thing that matters is that youre not hurt.
Once he finished soothing her, he shifted his attention back to me, the warmth in his gaze evaporating like morning mist.?
So, are you finished eating? he asked, his voice steady but lacking its earlier gentleness.
Without replying, I headed over to the Ferris wheel, recalling the saying that a birthday wish made from the top is destined to come true.?
Just as I turned away, I spotted a hint of scorn in Ophelias eyes as she dragged Lucian in my direction.?
Wow, a Ferris wheel! Lucian, I absolutely want to ride this too! she bubbled, her voice brimming with delight.
Upon learning from the staff that only two seats were left, Lucian didnt cast a single glance my way as he took Ophelias hand and hopped onto the ride.?
When the Ferris wheel returned twenty minutes later, he scoured the entire mall, but I was nowhere to be found.
At eight that night, I exited my room with my bags in hand, leaving behind a note that simply stated, Breakup.?
Without a hint of hesitation, I stepped out, leaving everything behind.
When my phone rang at eleven, I discovered it was Lucian calling. I was in the living room, engrossed in conversation with my parents, completely oblivious to the ringing.
An hour later, he called again. I dimmed my screen, powered off my phone, and slipped into bed, surrendering to sleep until noon the following day.
When I finally turned my phone back on, I was taken aback to see more than ten missed calls. With a heavy heart, I opened WhatsApp, ready to face the inevitable.
There, Lucian, usually so composed, had unleashed a flurry of messages, revealing a rare impatience.
[Whats with the key and note?]
[Did you really forget my birthday? Is ignoring my calls and texts your idea of fun?]
[Savannah, Im giving you one hour to return here, or dont bother coming back at all.]
I noted that the last message had been sent three hours earlier.
A wave of relief surged through me as I deleted Lucians contact from my phone.
Just then, a gentle knock echoed at the door, and my mother stepped in. Her warm smile brightened the room as she cradled a steaming cup of milk.
Savannah, you know how sensitive your stomach is. Drink this while its still warm, she urged, her voice soothing.
Even though I had arrived unannounced the night before, dragging my luggage behind me, my parents didnt press for details; they simply embraced me with their unwavering care.?
I wrapped my arms around my mothers arm, feeling a sting in my nose as emotions threatened to spill over.
Mom, I began, a hint of excitement in my voice, I found an apartment I really like. Its small but just enough to keep me cozy.
Moms smile widened, her eyes sparkling with encouragement. Then go for it! How much do you still need? Ill cover the difference.
I shook my head, determined to assure her I had it all under control.?
But she insisted, transferring me $28,000, saying, A girl with property and savings knows true security.
With the funds in hand, I arranged to meet the landlord on Monday to sign the contract.
That evening, Dad treated us to a delightful dinner and topped it off with a creamy cake to celebrate my belated birthday.
As I sat before the dancing flames of the candles, I closed my eyes, wishing for nothing but my parents happiness and good health.
But just as I extinguished the flames, an unexpected message popped up on my screen.
Even as I struggled for breath, slipping toward the edge of consciousness, he didnt falter, lost in their whispered exchanges.
On the drive home, I stumbled upon a diamond ring in the glove compartment.?
Before I could utter a word, Lucian snatched it from my hand, his expression darkening.
Its not meant for you, he muttered coldly.
I nodded and pointed toward a bridal shop just ahead.?
Pull over, I said calmly.?
It felt like the right time to return the custom-made wedding dress.?
As I stepped inside, Lucian followed me out of the car, tossing a womans jacket in my face.?
Savannah, you really need to break this habit of leaving things behind, he snapped.
Lucian had an obsession with cleanliness and never allowed any of my belongings to linger in his car.?
I glanced at the jacket lying on the ground and replied coolly, Thats not mine.?
His expression softened, and he picked it up without hesitation.?
I recognized it as Ophelia Hawke's jacket. Every time she left something behind, it seemed to ignite yet another one of our endless, heated arguments.
This time, I held my tongue and simply turned to the shop assistant to give her my phone number.?
With an enthusiastic grin, she exclaimed, What great timing! Your custom wedding dress and suit are ready for fitting.
Before I could protest, Lucian, still fuming, had already entered the dressing room, his demeanor cold.
Ten minutes later, I stood in front of him, clad in a wedding dress.?
He shot me a glance, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.?
Tacky.
I didnt argue; instead, I asked the shop assistant to snap a picture for me.?
Lucians expression shifted to one of impatience, and just as he was about to wrap his arm around me for a couple's shot, his phone rang.
It was the ringtone he had assigned to Ophelia.?
With tears in her voice, she lamented the loss of her favorite jacket, promising that if a kind soul returned it, she would pledge her unwavering loyalty to them until death.
Once the call ended, Lucian walked off without a glance back, still in his clothes from earlier.?
As the sound of his car faded into the night, I grabbed a pair of scissors and viciously shredded the wedding dress without a second thought.?
At one-thirty in the morning, while I was packing up my belongings, a text from Lucian buzzed in: [Out drinking.]
After eight years together, it was uncommon for him to voluntarily share his whereabouts with me.?
As I glanced at the cleaning gloves on my hands, I chose not to respond. Once I finished tidying up, I took a long, hot shower and slipped into bed.?
The next day, when Lucian returned home, I was on my way out to take the trash. His gaze felt peculiar as he studied me.
Is your phone broken? He asked, furrowing his brow instinctively when I shook my head. I knew what he was getting at.?
In the past, whenever he stayed out late, I would bombard him with calls and texts.?
But last night, his phone had been eerily silent. Just as I was about to step outside, Lucian inquired, Savannah, where did our photo on the wall go?
I looked at the garbage bag, poised to reveal the truth, when his phone buzzed.?
Pushing past me, he hit the voice message button, saying, Dont worry, kiddo; Ill get it to you as soon as its ready, as he walked inside.?
The sound of the shower running reached my ears as I made my way downstairs to dispose of the trash.?
On my return upstairs, I felt a sudden wave of weakness. I had hypoglycemia.
Cold sweat trickled down my back as I returned home and grabbed the egg and toast from the table.?
Just as I took my first bite, Lucian's scornful voice echoed in the room. Savannah, were you born starving??
I watched in disbelief as he tossed the half-eaten toast and plate into the trash.?
Ive cooked for you for eight years. Cant I have just one bite of the breakfast you made because I was having a low-blood-sugar episode? I asked, my voice flat.?
His expression hardened as he retorted, You lack manners. Taking without asking is stealing.?
He donned his suit and slammed the door behind him.?
Struck by Lucian's fresh wave of cold cruelty, I instinctively picked up my phone and opened his WhatsApp.
I caught sight of his new background photo, featuring Ophelia in cat ears, pouting playfully. I liked it with a flick of my thumb and unpinned his chat from the top of my list.
Around noon at work, I headed to view an apartment when I stepped into the elevator and unexpectedly encountered Lucian and Ophelia.?
Her hair was tousled, and Lucian helped her gather it neatly.
The moment Ophelia spotted me, she placed her hands on her hips, pouting dramatically. Savannah, youre just in time! Look at Lucian! He keeps tugging at my hair like a little kid. Its so infuriating!
Before I could interject, Lucian playfully pinched Ophelias nose. He teased, Little liar, keep spinning your tales, and that nose of yours will stretch like Pinocchios.
Ophelias cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and finally, Lucian turned to me as if struck by inspiration. Savannah, what a delightful coincidence; lets have lunch together.
Over the five years wed worked in the same building at different companies, Lucian had never once asked me to join him for lunch.
Meanwhile, Ophelia couldnt resist flaunting every meal they shared on social media.
Remembering this, I smiled and replied, You two go ahead. Ive got things to take care of.
Lucians surprise was evident, his expression darkening just as the elevator lurched and the lights flickered out.
Turning on my phones flashlight, I caught sight of him comforting Ophelia, his voice soft and reassuring.
It wasnt long before the elevator jolted back to life, and as we reached the ground floor, Lucian offered to give me a ride.
However, before I could respond, Ophelia suddenly collapsed.
Without a moments hesitation, Lucian brushed past me, scooped Ophelia onto his back, and hurried her to the hospital.
Picking up my cracked phone, I signaled for a cab and continued to my apartment viewing.
Later that evening, Lucian personally dropped off a dessert at my desk.
Thirty minutes earlier, I had come across Ophelia's new post: [Loving someone resembles caring for flowers; one could never finish this, never!]
The post featured a lavish spread of French desserts. I thanked Lucian but left the dessert box sealed.
He looked perplexed.
Savannah, why the sudden politeness? he asked, but I didnt reply directly.
Instead, I said, If theres nothing else, I need to print some documents.
When I returned with my resignation letter in hand, Lucian had already vanished, leaving behind a sticky note that urged me to come upstairs to see him once I was finished.
I tossed the sticky note and the dessert into the trash before heading to my bosss office to submit my resignation.
My boss attempted to change my mind, but once he recognized my resolve, he accepted my resignation letter.?
Following the standard procedure, I would be free to leave after completing this weeks tasks.
At ten that evening, while mingling with colleagues at a gathering, Lucian called.
A male coworker accidentally answered, and when I took the call, Lucian's voice was cold. Savannah, where are you at this hour?
I simply replied, Out.
Send me your location. Im coming to get you, he commanded before abruptly hanging up.
After sending him my location, I waited until the store closed, but he never showed up.?
Checking Ophelias social media, I found a post about her feeling ill and attached to an IV, which didnt surprise me.
I took a cab home alone, took a shower, and went to bed.
Around three in the morning, Lucian returned, dusty and exhausted, shaking me awake.
He said coldly, Savannah, Im hungry. Make me some tacos.?
He had never been fond of tacos, but I knew who he wanted them for.
I attempted to withdraw my hand, but I felt the scar etched into the back of his hand.?
If it hadnt been for Lucian that day the school auditorium caught fire, I would probably be dead.?
A life spared for a simple bowl of tacos seemed a fair exchange.
As I slipped into my coat, ready to step out, Lucian's hand caught my arm, a rare uncertainty clouding his voice.
Maybe maybe this can wait till morning? he ventured, his words trailing off, almost pleading.
I gently cut him off, my voice calm but insistent, Besides tacos, is there anything else shes craving?
For a brief moment, he stood in silence, then released my arm, his gaze softening. No, thats it.
At the break of dawn, he appeared at my door, holding a thermos filled with food.?
Savannah, Ill be going abroad next week. I plan to take some time this Saturday to have dinner with your parents and talk about our wedding?
Before he could complete his thought, I interjected, Thats not necessary.?
Lucian's expression shifted to one of surprise. What do you mean?
Theyre on a trip and wont be back anytime soon," I lied with a smile.
He looked at me, his eyes searching for an answer, but just then, his phone rang, and he quickly shut the door.
On Friday, my last day at work, I had just stepped out of the building when Lucian abruptly yanked me into his car wordlessly.
At a fancy restaurant, he was slicing my steak as he asked, Which wine would you prefer?
Absently scrolling through my phone, I replied, You can choose.
My lack of enthusiasm made his face cloud over just a bit.?
Who are you chatting with? he pressed.
No one, I said.
Even with my reply, he snatched my phone, flipping through it for a moment before turning to me with an unreadable expression. When did you change your wallpaper?
After all these years together, my wallpaper had always featured a photo of us. Still, now it displayed a picture of my parents little dog.
Worn out by the conversation, I stood up to head to the restroom.
When I returned, Lucian had vanished.
Without warning, the lights dimmed, and a server rolled a cart laden with flowers and a cake toward the next table.
Just then, my phone lit up with a birthday message from the network provider.
As I exited the restaurant, I heard a familiar, sweet voice: Ah! Lucian, youre so strong! Push me higher
Seated on a swing outside, Ophelia squealed joyfully as Lucian pushed her.
Caught up in her excitement, she lost her balance and fell right into his arms.
They gazed into each others eyes, unaware of anyone else around, until they finally caught sight of me.
Lucians gaze lingered on me, a flicker of disappointment casting shadows across his otherwise unreadable expression.
Savannah, this swing is a blast! Come join us
Ophelias cheeks bloomed a delicate pink as she shyly withdrew her hand from Lucians shoulder.
Savannah, she interjected quickly, her voice a mix of urgency and uncertainty, please dont get the wrong idea. Lucian was just keeping me from taking a tumble
With a playful ruffle of her hair, Lucian cast a warm glance at Ophelia, melting the cold tension that hung in the air.?
Silly girl, he said with a soft chuckle, theres no need to explain. The only thing that matters is that youre not hurt.
Once he finished soothing her, he shifted his attention back to me, the warmth in his gaze evaporating like morning mist.?
So, are you finished eating? he asked, his voice steady but lacking its earlier gentleness.
Without replying, I headed over to the Ferris wheel, recalling the saying that a birthday wish made from the top is destined to come true.?
Just as I turned away, I spotted a hint of scorn in Ophelias eyes as she dragged Lucian in my direction.?
Wow, a Ferris wheel! Lucian, I absolutely want to ride this too! she bubbled, her voice brimming with delight.
Upon learning from the staff that only two seats were left, Lucian didnt cast a single glance my way as he took Ophelias hand and hopped onto the ride.?
When the Ferris wheel returned twenty minutes later, he scoured the entire mall, but I was nowhere to be found.
At eight that night, I exited my room with my bags in hand, leaving behind a note that simply stated, Breakup.?
Without a hint of hesitation, I stepped out, leaving everything behind.
When my phone rang at eleven, I discovered it was Lucian calling. I was in the living room, engrossed in conversation with my parents, completely oblivious to the ringing.
An hour later, he called again. I dimmed my screen, powered off my phone, and slipped into bed, surrendering to sleep until noon the following day.
When I finally turned my phone back on, I was taken aback to see more than ten missed calls. With a heavy heart, I opened WhatsApp, ready to face the inevitable.
There, Lucian, usually so composed, had unleashed a flurry of messages, revealing a rare impatience.
[Whats with the key and note?]
[Did you really forget my birthday? Is ignoring my calls and texts your idea of fun?]
[Savannah, Im giving you one hour to return here, or dont bother coming back at all.]
I noted that the last message had been sent three hours earlier.
A wave of relief surged through me as I deleted Lucians contact from my phone.
Just then, a gentle knock echoed at the door, and my mother stepped in. Her warm smile brightened the room as she cradled a steaming cup of milk.
Savannah, you know how sensitive your stomach is. Drink this while its still warm, she urged, her voice soothing.
Even though I had arrived unannounced the night before, dragging my luggage behind me, my parents didnt press for details; they simply embraced me with their unwavering care.?
I wrapped my arms around my mothers arm, feeling a sting in my nose as emotions threatened to spill over.
Mom, I began, a hint of excitement in my voice, I found an apartment I really like. Its small but just enough to keep me cozy.
Moms smile widened, her eyes sparkling with encouragement. Then go for it! How much do you still need? Ill cover the difference.
I shook my head, determined to assure her I had it all under control.?
But she insisted, transferring me $28,000, saying, A girl with property and savings knows true security.
With the funds in hand, I arranged to meet the landlord on Monday to sign the contract.
That evening, Dad treated us to a delightful dinner and topped it off with a creamy cake to celebrate my belated birthday.
As I sat before the dancing flames of the candles, I closed my eyes, wishing for nothing but my parents happiness and good health.
But just as I extinguished the flames, an unexpected message popped up on my screen.
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